12 things: Cutler and Martz will struggle

I'd be surprised if ...

1. Chicago Bears QB Jay Cutler and new offensive coordinator Mike Martz don't end up doing more damage in the Windy City than those dorky robot grocery cart thingies from Transformers 3 will. How long is the NFL's offseason? Just long enough, I suppose, for people to forget enough of the facts in order to think this odd couple will actually flourish.

Never mind that it's been ages since Martz coached an offense that ranked in the top 10 or that the 1999-00 St. Louis Rams had four future Hall of Famers on offense, or that last year, based on a complicated value formula I've come up with (cost of acquiring player versus performance) Cutler, with his 26 interceptions and seven wins, has to rank as one of the all-time worst quarterbacks any team has acquired in a trade. I used to think that Cutler, who is 24-29 as a starter (or 35-64 if you include college), probably hated the growing comparisons to Jeff George, but if he doesn't start turning things around, and quick, I bet it's George who will start objecting to the connection.

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David Fleming | email

ESPN The Magazine

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• Senior writer for ESPN The Magazine FlemFile columnist for ESPN.com.
• Has written more than 30 cover stories for SI and ESPN.
• Author of "Noah's Rainbow" (a father's memoir) and "Breaker Boys" (stolen 1925 NFL title).