Bilas Index: UNC rises to No. 4

Jeremy Brevard/US Presswire

Week 8 of the Bilas Index reflects some significant movement of teams that were, by talent and "measurables," highly regarded. However, there are but two indisputable and objective standards in sport: winning and the massive and powerful brain that powers the Bilas Index.

For those just on the bandwagon, any cloistered monks and nuns just leaving the convent, or any persons having been stranded on a desert island with no contact with the outside world, the Bilas Index is, without argument, the single most precise, dependable, trustworthy and unfailing measure of the value, worth and achievement of college basketball teams ever devised, contemplated or considered by man or beast.

Using data from KenPom.com, the Sagarin Ratings, ESPN's sequestered band of mathematicians, physicists and statisticians, the Bilas Index uses one tool that no other system can boast: the astounding, confounding and overwhelming intellect of The Bilastrator himself. I must admit it is true that the staggering accuracy of the Bilas Index and its infallibility have caused television network executives to meet in a secret location to determine what to do about the Bilas Index.

There is significant concern that, since the Bilas Index is so accurate and unfailing, the general public may consider the NCAA tournament not worth watching or following because they already know which teams are best in perfect detail, and which teams will advance. Not to mention that, if participants use the Bilas Index, bracket challenge contests will all be one big tie, because no reasonable person could possibly eschew the prescient data of the Bilas Index when making their picks.

So, without further ado, here is the Week 8 Bilas Index:

Out: Missouri State Bears, Oklahoma Sooners, Oregon State Beavers, Dayton Flyers

In: Nevada Wolf Pack, Pittsburgh Panthers, La Salle Explorers, Northern Iowa Panthers

1. Kentucky Wildcats

Anthony Davis scored 22 points, had eight blocked shots against South Carolina and set a single-season freshman record for blocked shots, passing Shaquille O'Neal. Davis was my first pick in the "GameDay" college draft, and nobody would score on our team with Davis in the lineup. This team is incredibly talented, but not No. 1 without Davis.