ESPN The TRUM Blog

Posted by Matthew Berry

Thoughts, Ramblings, Useless information and Musings from Week 16 games

Vul-ture (noun) [Latin vultur]

1: a very large bird of prey that feeds on the flesh of dead animals
2: a person who profits from the misfortune and weakness of others

It was a weekend of large birds of prey feeding on the flesh of dead animals. Er, I mean the other definition.

That was the word that kept running through my mind as I watched today's games. Vulture. LaMont Jordan? Vonta Leach? LaMont Jordan again?

No guy enjoys being "blocked" from scoring. Not at a nightclub, and certainly not in his fantasy football championship (or semifinals, depending on your league settings). We all know that guy at the bar who has no interest in helping you out. Or the "platonic best friend" who you know really likes a girl, but she can't see it, and all he does is kill everyone else's game.

Well, in Week 16, a lot of those guys showed up. Here are the top 10 worst offenders:

10. Bill Belichick

Ever since he ran up the score on Joe Gibbs last year, I've thought of Belichick as a bully. He has been called a cheater by the NFL, and he has been karmically cursed ever since. But a little fantasy help sure would be nice. New England scored 47 points, including three scores by running backs, and Sammy Morris had none of them. Morris still had a nice game (133 total yards) … but it should have been awesome. The weather played a big factor in this game, of course, but it was interesting that both Randy Moss and Larry Fitzgerald did absolutely nothing, and yet both got bailed out by huge touchdown plays.

9. Le'Ron McClain

So I was talking to a buddy I work with, and he told me he was playing against a guy who had McClain, Tony Romo and Jason Witten. And I had Romo and Witten as guys I didn't like this week. Well, the Baltimore-Dallas game was almost over, and none of those three players had done much all game. Cool. My buddy's team is looking good, and so are my picks. Then McClain goes and busts one for a long score. Ridiculous. Then Romo goes nuts, throwing all over the place in desperation, and throws a touchdown pass to Witten. McClain should have taken a knee instead of scoring, a la Brian Westbrook. It ended up not mattering for the team, but the Ravens never should have given the ball back to Dallas. Thus, McClain blocked a lot of guys by actually scoring. Or, I suppose, helped a lot of guys. That's why he's the No. 9-ranked vulture; he could go either way here.

8. B.J. Askew and Darren Sproles

In a game in which fantasy owners were starting LaDainian Tomlinson, and many had both Warrick Dunn and Cadillac Williams going, none of these players scored, yet Askew and Sproles got in. Oh, and Brandon Manumaleuna got a score, keeping Vincent Jackson from having a truly amazing game. And the Bucs defense, after being so tough against the pass at home all year, didn't show up either: Philip Rivers had an amazing game, with 280 yards and four touchdowns.

7. Nate Ravitz and Cedric Benson

I'm sure we will discuss this on Monday's Fantasy Focus podcast, but these two guys combined to make the Bengals-Browns game truly horrific for me. My hatred of Benson is well-documented. But I've had to begrudgingly admit that he has been good of late. I even had him in my "Love" section in Thursday's "Week 16 Love/Hate" column. But what does Nate do? He calls me this morning to go over one of his championship decisions: Leon Washington, Warrick Dunn and Cedric Benson. The jerk forces me to talk him into Cedric Benson. Do you have any idea how painful that was for me? Then Cedric goes off. He carries 38 times for 171 yards. … In fact, he's so effective that he blocked T.J. Houshmandzadeh from catching even one pass.

6. Gosder Cherilus

He's a rookie guard from Boston College. He's on the offensive line for the Lions. And when he was called for illegal procedure in the first quarter, he erased Calvin Johnson's 43-yard touchdown catch. Speaking of that game …

5. Mike Shanahan and lawyers

Stupid Mike Shanahan and his revolving running back door … Shanahan releases Mike Bell, in a year when the Broncos could have really used him. (Look, he's better than Tatum). So Bell signed with the Saints -- and somehow found his way into the end zone this week in Detroit. He ended up with 40 total yards and a score. And stupid Deuce McAllister, who wouldn't even be playing if not for the appeal of his suspension, also stole a goal-line carry from Pierre Thomas and scored. Thomas still ended up having a good game (103 total yards and a score), but it should have been an amazing game against the Lions when you consider the Saints scored 42 points and Drew Brees threw only two touchdown passes.

4. Ricky Williams, Ted Ginn Jr. and Patrick Cobbs

If I told you the Dolphins had 168 rushing yards and scored two rushing touchdowns, and that Ricky Williams had only one of the scores and just 34 yards rushing, then you'd think Ronnie Brown had a pretty good day, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong. Ronnie had 32 yards rushing. I was playing Nate in the championship game of an internal ESPN league, and he had Brown, so I'm very happy to report this one. And unless Mason Crosby scores 32 points on Monday night, I'm winning this league. Not gonna lie. Feels pretty good.

3. The Chiefs

Someone explain to me how Tyler Thigpen throws for 320 yards and the Chiefs put up 31 points, and yet Dwayne Bowe has only three catches for 28 yards? I was happy to see Thigpen go off again, of course, with 57 yards rushing and a rushing touchdown as well.

2. The New England weather and the Cardinals' offensive line

Kurt Warner: 30 yards passing. Need I say more?

1. Nnamdi Asomugha

I was the lowest among our rankers on Andre Johnson this week, and I got a lot of flak for having him as a "Hate" in my Love/Hate column. Among my reasons for having him lower than Kevin Walter was Nnamdi's coverage skills, the fact that Johnson had been a lot worse on the road than at home this season (he had not had a 100 yards and a touchdown in a road game), and finally, prior to last week's monster game, he had had only one 100-yard game in his six previous games. But still, I said that you should start him, but lower your expectations. But no one expected this: Two receptions, 19 yards.

Others receiving votes: My crappy Redskins, showing up a week too late and stopping Donovan McNabb and Brian Westbrook; the Raiders, who shut down Matt Schaub (man, I loved him this week); the Vikings, who managed to turn the ball over so often that Adrian Peterson became very human and Chester Taylor's four-game scoring streak ended; Jerious Norwood, for stealing a short receiving touchdown from Michael Turner or Roddy White (you pick); and, of course, Mike Holmgren, who once again shut down Brett Favre. (Brett now has only five touchdown passes and 10 interceptions in five career games versus his former coach.)

Here are some e-mail examples of why fantasy football is a cruel mistress:

Rob (Dallas): "I am in a fantasy league in which we decided to create a 'bye-week' team comprised entirely of undrafted players because there were an odd number of owners in the league, and we thought it would be a nice way to offset having one team sit out every week. Needless to say, this bye-week team made it to the playoffs without ever making a single roster change (even when the starters had bye weeks) and went so far as to eliminate me in the first round of the playoffs. My question is: Why should I ever, ever, ever play fantasy football again if a team that never made a single roster change and was comprised entirely of undrafted players can do better than me?"

TMR: Free fantasy baseball, with free live scoring, fully customizable options and auction draft capabilities, will be available in early 2009, right here on ESPN.com!

Shawn (withheld): "Regarding [an earlier] complaint about you whining: Is that guy serious? He's really serious about a guy whining after his fantasy team has been knocked out of the playoffs for the year? A simple, more appropriate response would have been, "Dude, you just don't get it!" My fantasy season is now over, and I get it. There are only two teams I care about: The Indianapolis Colts and my Skoal Bandits. Now the Bandits have been eliminated. When your fantasy team wins, life is good. All of it. When it loses, things turn south. You want whining? Even my food doesn't taste as good now. I don't even think the [lovemaking] is as good at my house anymore. Losing sucks. Losing to some [loser] with a team that went off at the worst possible moment is worse. OK, I'll admit, I like your column. Do every week. So I may be biased. But you go ahead and whine this week. Some of us out here completely get it. My name is withheld for fear the wife might read the [lovemaking] comment."

TMR: Hold that thought. I'm about to make you feel worse.

Jay (unknown): "TMR … Which Williams do I start? Cadillac at home versus San Diego or DeAngelo on the road versus the Giants? Help! I gotta win this championship game!

TMR: Wait a minute. You're in the championship game and you seriously are wondering which one of these two guys to start? I think I'd rather lose to a bye-week team.

Matthew Berry -- The Talented Mr. Roto -- is writing just one column this week (a Love/Hate on Wednesday) due to the holidays and it being Week 17. He is the creator of RotoPass.com, a Web site that combines a bunch of well-known fantasy sites, including ESPN Insider, for one low price. Use promo code ESPN for 10 percent off. Cyberstalk the TMR | Be his Cyberfriend