ESPN The TRUM Blog

Posted by Matthew Berry

Thoughts, Ramblings, Useless information and Musings for July 3, 2008

Been a long time since I did a TRUM. Or a mailbag. So why not do both?

Rob (Manchester, N.H.): I need your opinion on Rafael Furcal. I just heard the news that he's gonna be out another eight weeks, and I've already got David Ortiz, Adam Wainwright and Troy Percival on the DL, and our league only has three DL spots, so Furcal's been using up one of my bench spots. Is it finally time to drop him?

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TMR: Yeah, Nate Ravitz and I discussed this very subject on today's podcast. He's done. Even if he comes back in eight weeks, you're talking September. He'll have been gone for more than three months with a myriad of injuries, and I'm not convinced he'll be effective at all, even if he does come right back. Which is no guarantee. If the Dodgers are out of it (a reasonable possibility), why would they bring him back at all? Furcal is done for this year.

Adam (Chicago): I dislike the fact that you speak of the Reds with a notion of patheticness in your voice. The Reds are promisingly young, and if they were in the NL West, they would only be a couple of games out. Once Ken Griffey Jr. leaves, they will be rejuvenated with energy and make a push toward .500 and the NL Central [pennant]. Do not make fun of the Reds, or you will have to focus on them for your next article on false predicions and labels. Sincerely, a baseball enthusiast.

TMR: I don't remember the statement I made, but I can only guess the patheticness came from the fact that their fans are excited about the possibility of losing a Hall of Famer to make a push toward .500. Keep reaching for the stars there, Adam.

Rob (Boston): Hey there, I read your column about George Carlin, and in these last few days of terrible sadness, it brought tears of happiness to my eyes. I was lucky enough to meet George just a few times -- I wrote him a letter when I was in high school for a project I was working on and, to my astonishment, he actually called me -- and I'll never forget his incredible kindness and generosity. Here was this man, a comedy legend and one of my heroes, calling to help me out with a high school project. I will never forget him or what he meant to me. And every time I hear a story like yours, it makes me remember everything I loved about him. It's amazing how many people's lives he touched. There won't ever be anyone quite like that again.

Geoff Nicholson (Wilmington, N.C.): Hello Comedy Gretzky, Your thoughts on Carlin hit home with me. Thank you for adding to the legacy of one the greatest comedians ever to put themselves under that challenging microscope. You are a writer/analyst with a unique style that has taken some getting used to. Now you are my favorite personality on ESPN. I listen to you daily on your podcasts (I download and listen on the go on my iPhone) and just wanted to let you know you have at the very least … one fan. Cheers!

Tom (Los Angeles): Matthew, Fantastic article on George Carlin. I'd heard a few of the man's acts and had a thorough distaste for him. His bits on atheism and it being stupid to be proud to be an American really rubbed me the wrong way. I thought he was an ass. After reading your article about him sticking around for every fan to get his autograph and saying nice things about you (clearly stretching the truth since you're such a loser), my mind is forever changed. The acts were meant to rub me the wrong way, which only puts an exclamation point on his brilliance. I couldn't agree more with you that more ballplayers should have Carlin's same attitudes for fans. You've changed my mind about Carlin and will relate your story in any future conversations about the man. Keep up the good work, you're really not such a loser.

TMR: Stop, you're embarrassing me.

Frank (Syracuse, N.Y.): I loved the article on George Carlin. It's amazing how long he was relevent. Most comedians would be lucky to have a run of five, maybe 10 years. Let's see if Dane Cook is making people my age (25) laugh when he's 60. Love the podcast. Keep it up. Burr!

TMR: I would settle for Dane Cook making people laugh now.

Randy (Houston): Followed you here from TalentedMrRoto.com. Recently saw "Get Smart" with my son, and it completely exceeded my expectations. I now know why you obsess about Anne Hathaway. She is quite gorgeous. Your columns are always entertaining and informative; I have used your insights and those of your fellow columnists many times to my advantage and have laughed out loud at your hilariously documented life experiences. Many thanks. Finally, I agree with your comments about Carlin. He was a truly gifted, intelligent comedian.

TMR: Thanks, Randy, and thanks to everyone who wrote in about George. I could do "Carlin Mailbags" every day for the next month. It's clear that tons of people were touched by him, and it meant a lot to me that everyone took the time to write in and share.

Gabe (Teaneck, N.J.): While I respect your comparison between Evan Longoria and Aubrey Huff (their power numbers being roughly the same), you failed to mention that Huff has played 11 more games and has 41 more at-bats than Longoria. This season, Longoria averages a home run per 17.47 at-bats and an RBI per 5.57 at-bats. Huff's numbers are 21.64 and 6.59, respectively. Projected to 600 at bats, Longoria would have 34 home runs and 108 RBIs versus Huff's 28 home runs and 91 RBIs. Longoria is clearly the better hitter.

TMR: That is a cogent and reasonable argument. What follows is not.

Chris Delgado (Staten Island, N.Y.): How can you compare Longoria to Huff? Huff has been in the majors all year, and Longoria hasn't. Second, the reason is that Huff will fall off in the second half, and everyone, including myself, believes that Longoria has tons of upside and can only get better! Same reason for the other nine or 10 guys you discussed. People like upside.

TMR: People seem to have missed the point in that column. I don't disagree with you, Gabe. I fully suspect Longoria will end the year with better numbers if you start Huff at zero when Longoria was called up. The point was not about who has more upside; it was about about value and perception. When Longoria was recalled, he immediately was claimed in 100 percent of leagues, and folks used their No. 1 waivers on him. Huff was out there in more than 50 percent of leagues and has just slowly seen his ownership increase. My point was that the difference between some of the big-name players and guys who are readily available is not nearly as great as you might think. So why not trade a guy like Longoria or some of the others I mentioned for a big increase elsewhere and pick up his replacement? Ultimately, you will have a better team.

Josh (Phoenix): Great article on "The Warrior" song. Anytime I hear the word "bang," I now just start to laugh. Saturday night, I am with some friends, listening to some old-school rap, and the song "Gangsta, Gangsta" comes on. Well just like in "The Warrior," Ice Cube, of all people, says "Boom, Boom" to describe his gun shots. So the question now is, is it lame or just the time period? All in all, it is hilarious, but hearing "boom, boom" from Ice Cube has taken the "hardness/toughness" away from the classic gangsta rap song, "Gangsta, Gangsta" by NWA.

TMR: It's lame. Unless I was talking to Ice Cube, in which case I would tell him it was part of the time period in music. Because I am not stupid, stupid.

Keith (Stuart, Fla.): TMR, OK, I really have to take issue with your column. Not with your baseball analysis, but with your pop culture knowledge. The Warrior "officially, contains the dumbest attempt at lyrics in the history of cheesy pop songs." Really? Have you never had the horror of listening to "The Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats? Now that's the dumbest attempt at lyrics by a cheesy pop song. I know it would be a little harder to work it into a baseball piece, but it can be done. "Sexson don't hit, and if he don't hit, then he's no friend of mine." Anyways, stop picking on those who have a shred of talent and save your ammo for those who have none. You would think the guy who wrote that Crocodile Dundee movie would be an expert on bad writing.

TMR: I actually love "The Safety Dance" and could not agree more with its sentiment. If you can't dance, well, you're no friend of mine, either. The little person dancing in the video also rules. The Croc Dundee shot wasn't bad, though. Well played.

Ari (Toronto): "Bang-Bang Maxwell Silver Hammer Went Down Upon His Head … " The Beatles! Nothing from the '80s was original.

TMR: I am willing to forgive The Beatles on the basis of an amazing library of generation-defining music. I am not willing to forgive Scandal featuring Patty Smyth based on the fact that that's all they got.

Chris (Milwaukee): OK … let me get this straight … you think Rich Harden is for real because he is on a mission, but you think Kazmir is not for real and a sell-high guy? I would assume you think he is an injury risk because it can't be anything in regards to performance you have seen in the second half of last year or the first half of this year.

TMR: Lots of Kazmir questions, and it's a two-fold answer. First, I don't think you'll ever get full value for Harden, specifically because everyone is scared the bottom will drop out. As for Kazmir, he's never put it together consistently for a whole season. He's had stretches of dominance but never an entire year. Case in point: Kazmir's ERA in his past three starts is 5.74. And then, yes, there's the injury concern. People are so willing to believe in Kazmir that you can get full value here, despite these warning signs.

Carla (New Jersey): Dear Matthew: We are big fans of you over here at our non-profit organization, MPP.org. We are throwing a fundraiser at the Playboy Mansion and would love for you and a guest to attend. A dedicated organization, we are committed to …

TMR: Yeah, you had me at "Playboy Mansion."

Joe (Ohio): Matthew: I tried to add your widget, so that I could get updates when you write your now bi-monthly column, but when I added it, I got Simmons instead. I think something is wrong, he may have rigged it so that he comes out on top.

TMR: Yeah, it's a technical glitch, and one they are working on. Not Bill's fault at all. They made Bill's widget first and then, I guess, made everyone else's off of that somehow. I know. It looks like Bill's when you download it, but it's really mine.

Dave (New York): Dude! Read that your dream girl is now single. Maybe that now you are a big time celebrity (insert laughter), she might grant you a date. But please don't - I like Ms. Hathaway too and I don't want to see you turn her into some psycho chick. I get the impression you have that effect on women.

TMR: This is a very legitimate concern on your part.

James (Murfreesboro, Tenn.): I can't be the first one to point this out: you and Mike Bacsik have to be long-lost brothers. I never really thought about it until today with that story on Bacsik on the front page. Freaky.

Dan (Philly): Have you been told you look like a cross between Bobby Flay and Elmo Blatch (the guy who really killed Andy Dufresne's wife in "Shawshank Redemption")? No further questions.

TMR: I think the clear answer here is that I look like someone who is never going to date Anne Hathaway. Dave from New York, you're safe.

K (Cincinnati): Two great columns in a row, keep up the good work! PS. Everything written above is very, very true.

TMR: Every streak ends sometime.

Matthew Berry -- The Talented Mr. Roto -- is ESPN's senior director of fantasy. He was just as surprised as you to find out it's a real job. He is a multiple award winner from the Fantasy Sports Writers Association, including a Writer of the Year award. He is also the creator of RotoPass.com, a Web site that combines a bunch of well known fantasy sites, including ESPN Insider, for one low price. Use promo code ESPN for 10 percent off.

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