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Posted by Hockey Curmudgeon

Hi, I'm the Hockey Curmudgeon, and I don't care. Specifically, about what you think. That's right, choirboy, when it comes to this blog, it's not my opinion, it's the truth.

So Andy Murray was fired. Lah-dee-frickin'-da. The hardworking bossman takes the fall because the overpriced babies are made of sugar. Again. Big news there. Stick a pipe in it, already. "Dave Taylor, time to come out of the sun."

How about firing some of these sallies, putting them on the DQ list like that sourpuss Alfonso Soriano?

Now you're talking.

Here's where I'd start, and I'm not paying that hairpiece Donald Trump one dime for saying, "You're fired."

Colton Orr, Rangers: Man, you are so fired. And here's an extra firing for you, Mike O'Connell, for drafting this bozo and trying to sneak him past desperate Beantowners before trading him west. Imagine if you're Joe Boston Accent, after parking the car, sitting down at your first Bruins game in years and seeing the name "Orr" on the ice. Now that today's Orr is besmearching hockey's royal name with his act in the Rangers organization, it doesn't make it easier to swallow. The guy averages 2:31 of ice time and has had one shot in 28 games. What a lame shame.

Eric Daze, Blackhawks: How can you be that big and that fragile? What are you, made of glass?

Larry Pleau, Blues: When the team is sold, does that mean you're fired? Yes.

Mark Recchi's plus/minus: Call it the Recchi Line: 60 points and minus-30. Only a trade to Carolina prevented you from dipping below minus-40, Peppy.

Aki Berg, Maple Leafs: Are you still in the league? Time to take your former-third-overall-pick, bad-pass-up-the-middle butt back to the School of Giveaway Todd Gill where you belong.

Stephane Robidas, Stars: Not really, I just like saying his name. Repeat with me: Steh-FAN ROE-bee-daw! Sweet.

David Poile, Predators: A first-round draft pick for Brendan Witt? Give your head a shake. Did you think you were getting Katrina Witt?

Derian Hatcher, Flyers: Admit it, Mullet Man, you're finished. The new NHL has put you in the rearview. Time to buy a car dealership and save us all from feeling embarrassed every time a fourth-liner blows past you like the pylon you really are.

Travis Green, Bruins: Once and for all, zip it, Lippy. No one likes to hear your nails-on-the-blackboard voice.

Patrik Stefan, Thrashers: Chalk up another 10-goal season for the former first-overall pick. If you're not careful, people will start confusing you with goaltender Greg Stefan. Or Gwen Stefani.

Alexander Mogilny, not the Devils: Colby Armstrong has the same number of points in the same number of games. Ding! Career's up!

Sergei Fedorov, Blue Jackets: Too easy a target. OK, I can't resist: Eight goals? No wonder Anna left you.

Jay Feaster, Lightning: Tell us, seriously, why you did nothing about your goaltending at the trade deadline. Squat. Nada. Zilcho. Just like your team's chances of defending the Stanley Cup.

Sidney Crosby's pretty boy status: Do us all a favor, kid, and suck it up. The rink doesn't need another whiner. Just go out and play.

The Hockey Curmudgeon drives an Olympia, not a Zamboni, to the office and will write whenever he darn well feels like it.